Common Sleep Mistakes Parents Make
Mistakes Will Be Made
As a Sleep Consultant, there are so many mistakes that I see parents making when it comes to their child’s sleep. As a mom, before I earned my sleep consultant certification, I didn’t understand that these actions could be considered “mistakes”, nor did I understand the negative effects they were having on my child. So, I decided that I would create a list of a few mistakes that most of my clients are making when they first come to me. So, basically, I am giving you the SECRETS behind good sleep habits for your child!
And for the record, I am only using the word “mistakes” because of a lack of better wording. These actions may not affect every child negatively, but for the most part they do, and while parents mean well, these actions aren’t helping their child’s sleep. So, for the purpose of this blog I will be referring to them as mistakes.
Let’s dive right in! Here is a list of my Top 6 Sleep Mistakes That Parents Make...
1. The Motel 6er
Many parents leave some kind of light on in their child’s room at night. They believe this will help their baby feel safer or they believe their baby is afraid of the dark. So, they pull a Motel 6 and they leave the light on.
Light, even the smallest night light, will trigger the brain to wake up. So, your best bet is to have the room as dark as a cavern 20 yards underground. Use those blackout curtains, turn off hallway lights so light doesn’t spill through the cracks around their door, and keep the closet light off.
2. The Virtue Silencer
Oftentimes, parents believe that having their child’s room totally silent is best for getting them to sleep. While we don’t want to have distracting music playing, silence is actually not helpful while trying to fall asleep simply because it doesn’t truly exist. Silence is a virtue...but not for bedtime.
Also, when you put your child to bed at night, they will always experience at least a little bit of fear of missing out, and this is only exacerbated if their room is silent. They will be able to hear you moving around the house, or watching tv in the next room, and they may start to fear that they are missing out. This can make bedtime very difficult.
Another thing to consider is that every home has some noises that occur throughout the night, and every neighborhood will have cars driving up and down the road at some point. As adults, more than likely, we don’t notice these noises because while our brain hears them, they are not brought to the forefront of our consciousness. For our children, these noises are still new and spark interest.
Drowning out these kinds of noises is best done with a sound machine that plays white noise. Why not music or lullabies? Well, music and lullabies have melodies that our children’s brains key into and try to anticipate. They are not helping the brain to calm and block out the world. White noise will block out those sounds without sparking interest in the brain!
3. The Cue Suppressor
Parents can talk to babies all they want about how bedtime is soon and that it is time to sleep, but if they aren’t consistently completing a bedtime routine every single night, they are not giving baby cues that sleep is coming. They are suppressing those cues that tell their baby’s brain to wind down.
Bedtime and nap time routines are extremely important. They may seem like useless schedules to some people, but for babies they are so helpful in winding them down and cueing their bodies that it is time to go to sleep.
Routines only work if you continuously do them for a long period of time. One or two nights of a similar routine will not help set those actions as cues in your baby’s brain. You must do the same bedtime routine every single night. Eventually, your baby will learn that these cues mean sleep is coming on, and you will notice that they stop fighting it as much and they even start to welcome going to sleep!
4. The Schedule Resistor
Babies thrive on having predictable schedules. So, when there is no nap schedule or bedtime schedule in place, your baby will become overtired and cranky QUICK. So, it is best to set an ideal schedule for your baby that gives them the restorative sleep they need. After four months, don’t resist the schedule, it will be so helpful in the long run!
5. The Fickle Responder
It is important that parents are consistently responding to their babies. This may look different in each family. One family may choose to let their baby cry-it-out through the night and not respond until morning, while other families may choose to respond all of the time and every single time their baby cries. Neither of these are right or wrong. The important part is that parents are consistently responding the same way.
So, for example, let’s say a mom lets her baby cry for 15 minutes the first time they wake up at night, but then immediately responds the next time her baby cries, then waits a whole hour the next time. These are inconsistent responses and this will hurt more than it will help. Babies need consistent responses from mom and dad. So, it is important to set that expectation early and respond consistently.
6. The Inharmonious Guardians
This is one of the hardest “mistakes” to overcome if communication isn’t on point. It is imperative that parents are responding the exact same way as each other and it is important that the caregivers are also responding appropriately and consistently. For this to happen, the parents and caregivers (whether that be a daycare, a babysitter, or an in-home caregiver), everyone needs to be on the same page and understand exactly what the plan is and what to do in each circumstance or situation.
This mistake is best corrected by engaging in a family meeting and a sit down with all caregivers at once. This allows everyone the chance to provide their input and the child doesn’t receive inconsistent attention or responses.
I Feel Attacked…
Are you finding that you may be committing one (or more) of these “mistakes”? THAT IS OK! We all have been there! You can follow my recommendations and make changes in your little one’s sleep. It is never too late!
Do you feel like maybe you have deeper issues causing your little one’s sleep issues? Book a call with me! We can talk about what issues you are experiencing and I can tell you which of my packages would work best to make big changes!
Let’s get your little one dreaming!
With love,
