Survive the 4 Month Sleep Regression
Are you searching left and right to find out why your baby just went from sleeping long stretches at night to waking multiple times and refusing to go back to sleep? Have you been adding any and all techniques to your “box of tools” to help your 4-month old fall asleep?
If that sounds familiar, you are in the right place, and I am here to tell you your baby has hit the dreaded 4-month sleep regression. However, this is not a reason to throw in the towel and settle on never sleeping again. In fact, there are many things you can do (tonight) to bring those long stretches of sleep back!
Here is your guide to Survive the 4 Month Sleep Regression.
So, what the heck is the 4-month sleep regression?
The 4-month sleep regression is actually not a regression at all it’s a “progression." Your baby has now ditched the newborn way of sleeping and has adopted more mature sleep cycles that look similar to yours. Understand that this regression comes on no matter how well you try to steer clear of it. It is a natural part of your baby’s development. That does not help you feel any less tired right now, so let’s dive into the nitty gritty, shall we?
How do I make it through?
Clearly, you are a very tired parent, so brevity is a luxury. Bottom line on top: there are four areas to consider in order to get through this regression: the sleep environment, the schedule, sleep props, and development of new skills.
Let’s dive deeper into each of these.
Sleep Environment
Now that your baby is showing signs of mature sleep cycles, they are probably not doing the newborn thing of sleeping just about anywhere. They will now benefit more from a sleep environment that is conducive to restful sleep.
Go ahead and set up a consistent sleeping space for your baby. This can be in your room if you are room sharing, or in your baby’s nursery. Hang up blackout curtains or use a blackout solution to create a cave-like darkness in the room. Keep the room cool, 68º to 72º. If you haven’t already, start using a white noise sound machine to help drown out unwanted noise that could be keeping the baby awake.
If your baby has been sleeping in the living room, in the car, or falling asleep on you for naps,, starting to nap in a crib will feel different for your baby. Help them adjust to their new sleep environment by having them sleep in there for 1-2 naps a day until they get used to it.
The Schedule
Since your baby is now experiencing more mature sleep cycles, their newborn sleep schedule is likely not benefiting them as it once did! Many parents of newborns rely mostly on sleepy cues to tell them when to put their baby down to sleep. However, sleepy cues become less and less reliable as a baby gets older. So, how do you know when to put your baby to sleep? You can follow one of the following “philosophies” on baby sleep timing.
The first is wake windows. This means you would put the baby down for sleep based on their age-appropriate wake window. The “window” would start from when you get your baby out of their crib (or sleep space) and go until you are putting your baby down for their next sleep time. For example, at the 4-month mark, most babies do well with a wake time of 1.5-2 hours. This means 1.5-2 hours after you get your baby up, you would be putting them back down for their next sleep period. As babies get older, they can manage more awake time, but for a 4-month old, no more than 1.5-2 hours is recommended to keep them from becoming overtired. If your baby is fighting sleep or very upset when going to sleep, they likely need a shorter wake time, so consider shortening it just a bit.
The second philosophy for getting your baby on a sleep schedule is using a biological schedule that is age appropriate. Instead of counting wake times use a clock schedule as a guide while also looking for your baby’s specific sleepy cues to adjust the schedule as needed. But, Tracy, you just told us not to focus on sleepy cues! That’s right! I want you to take a mental note of when your little one is showing sleepy cues so that you can adjust and anticipate that for the next nap/day. However, a good starting schedule would be:
wake-up: 7am (ish)
nap 1 starts: 8-830am
nap 2 starts: 1130am-1230pm
nap 3 starts: 3-5pm
bedtime 1.5-2.5 hours after the end of nap 3
No matter which philosophy you feel is right for your family, it is best to remember that early bedtimes are KEY to restorative night sleep, starting the day with a wake up time that is generally at the same time every day is beneficial to establishing a sleep rhythm, and using a consistent bedtime/nap time routine will help your baby’s body cue them that it is time to sleep!
Sleep Props
You’ve created a sleep environment conducive to sleep, and you’ve placed your baby on a regular sleep schedule. Now, you should look at the sleep props you have been using to help get your baby to sleep. These sleep props might be rocking/holding to sleep, feeding to sleep, pacifiers, car rides to sleep, stroller rides to sleep, or standing on your head while facing South and rocking your baby in a bassinet with your left toe. It is funny because we all know that tired parents will do just about anything to get their babies to sleep. You must decide if each sleep prop is actually helping to get your baby to sleep, or if they are just something you’ve added to your box of techniques that doesn’t help at all but you use it becuase you're tired and desperate. Ditch the sleep props that aren’t actually helping. Now, you are left with a list of sleep props that help, but you must decide which of these props are sustainable. Clearly, standing on your head facing South while rocking the bassinet with your left toe is totally sustainable, right? Wrong! That would be a sleep prop you would want to ditch. If you have no desire to continue with that sleep prop, or it is not sustainable, ditch it. Only continue using sleep props that are sustainable and helpful (ideally they would also be independent sleep props that your baby can handle on their own).
If you are using a feeding to sleep technique, whether that be bottle or breast, avoid always assuming that your baby is waking due to hunger. If you just fed your baby 45 minutes before, they are more than likely not hungry at all, but feeding has become a sleep prop. If you are concerned that they are waking often at night due to hunger, talk to your pediatrician, evaluate their daytime milk intake, and increase it as needed.
If the swaddle is a technique you are still using, ditch it cold turkey no matter what today. By this point, your baby is capable of decreasing the startle reflex, but they must have the opportunity to learn how to do so. Not to mention, most babies this age are already attempting to roll over or are fully rolling over. Swaddling them would put them at great risk. Instead of swaddling, try a transitional "swaddle" such as the Zipadee Zip, or move straight to a sleep sack. The freedom of movement may actually end up making your baby sleep a bit better!
Development of New Skills
As parents we often think sleep disturbances are teething, hunger, or needing to be rocked or held, but we forget that learning new skills can cause big disruptions in sleep. Right around the 4-month mark, our babies are attempting to roll over, bringing items to their mouths, and developing more body control. Anytime our babies are learning new skills, we may see a disruption in sleep, not just at 4-months old!
I like to follow the Wonder Weeks leaps for development. These leaps give parents a great idea of when to expect some fussiness and difficulty sleeping. I love the Wonder Weeks book because it also provides parents with activities they can do with their babies to help them master the skill they are developing during any particular leap! The quicker they master the skill, the less it will impact their sleep. If you are interested in the book, click here!
The Pause
Ok, your baby is waking due to a developing skill, but how can you manage it in the moment?! Two words: the pause. If your baby is waking up at night or during a nap, instead of rushing to them as soon as they make a peep, pause. Give them a few minutes to try to go back to sleep on their own. Restlessness can be a side effect of an emerging new skill, and that comes with partial arousals. This is very comparable to when you wake up in the middle of the night to adjust your sleeping position or steal back your blankets. If you grab your baby up while they are in a partial arousal, you may cause them to fully wake up. However, if you pause, you give them the chance to get comfortable again on their own and go back to sleep! Pause for as long as you feel comfortable. If you don’t want to pause for more than a minute or two, that’s ok! Use that as a starting point and extend the pause as you feel more comfortable. Any pause is better than no pause.
Conclusion
Bottom line, the 4-month sleep regression does not have to feel like a regression! You can take this opportunity to progress your baby into more mature sleep by adopting a few changes.s
1st- Use a sleep environment is conducive to sleep.
2nd- Make sure their schedule is appropriate for their age and development.
3rd- Use only sustainable and helpful sleep props.
4th- Identify developmental skills they are learning and help your baby master them.
5th- Pause.
Making these 5 easy changes will help you manage this regression and many others. The biggest key is understanding that your baby is changing and developing new skills everyday! So, tricks that worked yesterday may no longer work, so shifting your mindset and focus to what does work is key!
If you are still feeling quite overwhelmed about this regression, that is OK! It is a tough one to manage, especially when it affects sleep so much! You do not have to do this alone, and if you are ready to just start the sleep training process to make long term changes, you can! If you are not quite ready to jump to sleep training, that is ok, too! You still do not have to go through this alone! I am just one email or phone call away to support you! I have many options to get you the support you want while managing this regression and many others! Its as easy as booking a free evaluation call below to get started!
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